My rules!!!!!

[MoparMom]

The Cowboy Way I have lived,loved,lost and loved again. Life is not easy, but - it is what it is . Cowboy rules for: Arizona,Texas,Oklahoma,Colorado,New Mexico,Wyoming,Montana,Utah,Idaho Alaska(too!) &, the rest of the Wild West, are as follows: 1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot. 2. Turn your cap right;your head ain't crooked. 3. Let's get this straight: It's called, a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive,you're gonna get dust on your Lexus.Drive it,or get out of the way. 4. They are Cattle.That's why they smell like - cattle. They smell like 'money' to us.Get over it. Don't like it? I-10 & I-40 go East and West,I-17 & I-15 goes North and South. Pick one,and go. 5. So you have a $60,000 Dollar car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 Dollar Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a Year. 6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called: Being Friendly. Try to understand the Concept. 7. If that cellphone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are a comin' in during a hunt,we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You'd better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time. 8. Yeah.We eat trout, salmon,deer,and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner Bait shop. 9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of Deer season.It's a Religious holiday held,the closest Saturday to The first of November. 10. We open doors for women.That's applied to All Women;regardless of age. 11. No.There's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak,or you can order The Chef's Salad and pick-off the 2 lbs. of ham and turkey. 12. When we fill out a table,there are Three main dishes: meats,vegetables,& breads. We use Three spices: salt,pepper,and ketchup! Oh, yeah... We don't care What you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat; IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!! 13. You bring 'Coke' into my house,it better be brown,wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house,she better be Cute,know how to shoot,drive a truck,and have long hair. 14. College and High School Football is as important here,as the Giants,the Yankees,the Mets, Lakers and,the Knicks; and a dang site more fun to watch! 15. Yeah. We have Golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards- it spooks the fish. 16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump ain't Music,anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! ...Refer back to #1! 17. There's only One God and we love Him and worship Him. A true Westerner will send this to at least 10 others and a few new friends that,probably won't get it, but we're friendly so, we share, in hopes you can begin to understand what a Real Life is all about!!