Personal Note

Hey there gang, I'm still here working at the website.

I know there are people there that just don't understand why I've changed in appearance and my nature of being. Sadly, the whole aspect of my life was permanently altered when I had my last run of cancer. You have to realize I'm no longer able to work as a mechanic and do Cummins diesel work at a commercial level. I have an ostomy bag hanging on the front of my belly that is a constant reminder of the cancer I fought through alone. I deal with depression on a mild level because all the things I enjoy doing are gone! I can't lift more than 40 pounds because of hernia risk. My makeup is my way of making the most of the life I have left. As much as I love to turn wrenches now you toss in the fact that my shop is gone due to the mudslide here. Some people ask why you don't just put on your cowboy hat and go back to wrenching. Sorry, I can't I've got medical limits that prevent me from doing the things I love. This is why the character Titanium was created to help deal with my depression of not being able to work on diesels, I can't do a lot of things now because I need to keep my stoma and ostomy clean at all times. Infection at this point could cause huge problems for my health.

What is left of my toolbox and tools, a lot of my sockets spilled out.

My makeup and character "Titanium" create that boundary because I'm usually dressed up. Yes, the dress code I wear some usually shirts like my "Don't like me F___ OFF Problem solved! I've got another shirt that says Fun Fact: I Don't Care. At any rate, this is all about the laughter and smiles I create while I'm in Titanium character. My medical team loves the makeup and shirts I wear. Even when I'm out in public I've got teenagers yelling out over the parking lot of Albertson's, "I Love You Titanium!". The more I'm experimenting with movie set makeup, like Mehron and other high-quality makeup providers. This is what I now enjoy as fun is getting into makeup and making smiles and also supporting other cancer patients and medical patients. Yes, I have a following on TikTok members with similar issues.

As for the nature of being. That has been changed too. I'm tired of the people who just say, "I'll pray for you" and offer zero help. It's gotten even worse now. Just now found out my neighbor, who actually his water line actually caused this issue, is willing to create a GoFundMe page for Mark, but no help for me. That is just absolutely rude. The fact since the landslide, the Dischinger Family is the only one to come help us with the clean up. Even my church group is not even offering to help. I'm sick and tired of all the "fake love" or "fake help" towards us as a family unit. I'm sick and tired of people posting this all over Facebook in turn does nothing to bring help. Everyone knows what happened but no additional help has come, and it has led to a lot of conversations. Yeah, it's been over a month still a huge mess.

Month later its just the Dischinger Family and Us (Mark, Suzanna, and I) cleaning this up.

Just a few days ago, the Rupp Family had a major mudslide come down through their orchard and cow pasture and made a huge mess. I know they are very religious people too. I told the owners, "I'm NOT going to say the same old, I'll Pray for you." No, I did the right thing. "Is there anything I can do with my abilities to help you and your family with getting your business back on its feet?" Yes, even as broken as I am I offer help to my local community.

Beast, sitting in Rupp's parking lot, While I offer help to the Rupp family after the mudslide.