Christmas Holiday Blues / Happy Birthday Titanium

A lot of you don't understand why the makeup. I'll admit I fell apart last night; it's Christmas / New Year's again. Both of my bladder cancers came for Christmas. What most people don't get is the fact that what I love to do is out of my reach. Let's roll back the clock and understand that as a kid at the 14 years old I was gifted a socket set (Craftsman) and fell in love with mechanical things. I was building go-karts and mini-bikes with friends. I was fixing lawn mowers and small single-cylinder engines. Then, at the age of 16, I got my Dad's 1973 Dodge Charger SE as my first car. Hence, my nickname came from my first car. Now fast forward to 2002 and buying my first Diesel truck and dove in with both feet into a world I've never done and became an" internationally known diesel mechanic". Now, for 2018 and 2023 Christmas was a lonely and frightening trip to a hospital, and a fight for my life. It's been rather tough to figure out where I'm going from here since my shop is nothing more than a frozen dirt pile today. I have some basic tools to keep things going here, but still missing a lot of tools and equipment. As much as I want to be that diesel mechanic, I can't because of health issues stemming from my kidneys, left side is 82%, and my right is 17% remaining. In this condition a infection would kill me, so I can't really be out and covered in grease and dirt. I can't lift more than 40 pounds because of a hernia risk with my stoma. I want to continue doing what I love, but at the same time, it's nearly impossible to jump into doing major work in Thor to just build articles. It's just too cold and getting difficult for me handle long-term cold without heat and an enclosed shop.

Then another realization, Titanium has a birthday and is officially 2 years old. Yes, this means I've been doing daily makeup work for 2 years now and taking my art to the streets. My makeup work was my way of dealing with depression and trying to do something that brought happiness back, while doing something that was very scary at the time, dealing with chemotherapy treatments and the possibility of death. Titanium is my way of finding some enjoyment in my day, as I can't just go down to the shop and fix another problem with a truck, to build a website article is gone. I have to be thankful for the fact that I created the Titanium character to keep me going during a very tough time. Happy Birthday, Titanium!