The blond crashed her car into the ditch. No one was hurt. The Trooper arrives on the scene and asks the blond "What happened?"The blond says "I was driving down the road when a tree jumped out in front of my car. I swerved and another tree jumped in front of my car. One after another. So I ended up here."The trooper asks "What kind of tree was it?"She says "A pine tree."The cop pulls the air freshener off the rear view mirror and asks "Did it look like this?"Author unknown

A blond walks up to a soda machine and puts in 2 quarters. She presses the selection button and out comes a soda.While she is doing this a man walks up behind her and watches her put in 2 quarters, press the button and receive another soda. She does this 2 more times and then he asks if he can use the machine to get a soda.She replies "go away I'm winning".