Disclaimer:

Some people might get their feelings hurt. Just turn and walk away is the best suggestion. I'm in a "pissed off" mood so be aware I'm not going to be nice in this post.

 

Now everyone here knows I'm currently trying to deal with my bladder cancer. I'm not allowed to work on vehicles at all because of my bags and tubing. Then I'm not allowed to make any profit on the website being I'm being watched by the Fed's and Idaho State Government. Don't send donations this could push my income over the limit and cause me to lose all my benefits. That being said I'm limited on what I can do here. The store has to remain offline till after all my surgeries and medical treatment. As for tune work that I'll be able to do a little here and there but I have to be careful not to over do my income again I'll lose my benefits for my medical.

 

Now for those that say "I'll pray for you" That absolutely pisses me off to no end. This is a way for people to say they care but don't want to be involved. Yeah, you say the phrase but you are not here to help me deal with the bag that decided to leak all down my leg in the night. Start doing laundry at 2am and attempt to make my bed and go back to sleep. You are not there when I've got to get up every 3 hours to deal with draining my bags. You are comfortably asleep in your bed and "praying for me" as I'm dealing with wet bedding that smells of urine. So if you want to make a difference in my life become an advocate and be there for a person. This means getting up out of your comfort zone and helping a person like me who can't bend over to pick up something off the floor. Physically being there for a person. Now there are a few that have voiced their aid to me like @Doubletrouble he told me anytime I need someone to talk to call him. That is being there for me in times of need. This means way more to me than a person saying "I'll pray for you" because that person will disappear and never be there for you nor do they want to be bothered by my troubles. To me, it is upsetting to hear the phrase "I'll pray for you..."  You are just being lazy and don't want to be bothered with my troubles. Again become an advocate for a person and be there for them! Prayers are not paying for my fuel to travel to my doctors, not paying for my medication, not dealing with my stress or depression, etc. But the phrase allows you to remain at home comfortably and do nothing.

 

Now as for my makeup work and wigs. If you don't like it do me a favor and cancel your subscription now and leave silently. I don't need your kind around here. As for future postings, I will post photos of my works, and if you don't like it just leave. Before you start running your mouth I'll be very clear I'm not g a y  or trans. It's called "Emotional Goth" what I'm doing is go look it up and educate yourself before running your mouth. Goth culture is very much so alive and there are a lot of people still dressing in Goth styles. The difference between Goth and Emo Goth is Goth is strictly black everything including makeup. Emotional Goth is with color and in the clothing and makeup.

 

My makeup work is the only fun I get to have now. When I go to my medical appointments yes I'm wearing my wig and doing makeup as well. My profile picture on my records is a picture of me with my black and blue hair and basic black makeup. All my doctors and nurses love the look. Matter of fact my last trip to Fruitland ID my case worker was asking me about what products I was using because she loved the look and couldn't understand why my eyeliner was still looking good. Even my doctor gave me props for my appearance. 

 

Just today I decided to do my black and purple hair with full-color makeup. I had to run to McCall to get my medications, It was an uplifting experience for me. I've had a well-to-do millionaire ask me to join her group for the winter carnival in McCall ID. She thought I was gorgeous dressed up the way I was this morning. I gave her my phone number and told her to call me and hopefully, I'm not feeling nasty from my chemo. Then I stop by Dollar Store in New Meadows. The crew in that store loves the look and she wants to stay in touch with me for my chemo. Well during my visit there another customer who lives in McCall asked me to join in the winter carnival contact the chamber of commerce and get signed up for one of the floats. Just for how I looked today. 

 

So being I can't really do diesel work at all. My makeup artistry is getting better and better. I'm making my happiness by making others smile and that enjoy my artistry. It is truly amazing how many women take notice of me and either give me a huge compliment or start asking about the storyline. 

 

Because of the government being involved in my life, I can't be productive here on the website too much nor do any wrench work. Yes they are watching all my bank accounts very closely. I'm to the point any happiness I can create for myself in the confined time I'm stuck at home I'm going to do anything I have to do to keep depression at bay. Again if you can't handle the idea of me doing makeup in Emo Goth (Emotional Goth) then do me a favor and unsubscribe from the site now and just leave. I'll say it very clearly I'm not g a y and not trans. I'm still a male/guy. Just try to fill my day with my smiles and happiness even in the back of my head I'm dealing with cancer and chemo treatments that will make me sick and I could likely lose my hair from the chemo.

Edited January 31, 20241 yr by Mopar1973Man

Good to hear that you're doing better, stay strong brother!

 

Mark

Mike, it's awesome to know that you're making great progress!

 

I hope you can get back to a modified but somewhat normal life again soon, as that will lift your spirits even more.

 

 

I'm home. Man it's so nice to crash in my own bed at night. My pain level and anxiety are much lower. My blood pressure is very easy to control using my cannabis. I also so nice to lay in bed all night and not have alarms or bag to dump every 4 hours. I got home Einar made dinner and I loaded up with plenty of food. Started hitting the vape pen I got pretty stoned last night moved to my bed and set up my night bag. Got myself hooked up and rolled over and passed out at 9pm and slept till 5am. That was awesome sleep. I feel very recharged and ready for today. My pain is like when your doing injectors the milk crate slides out from your feet and you scrap your belly on the hood latch. Internally I feel nothing. In my lower back I feel nothing. So basically I feel the skin level stuff but internally I'm a constant zero. I know I'm going to heal much faster at home than in the hospital. My anxiety is way down now too. I was anxiety drug and I'm glad I got one it helped the entire time I was in the hospital being it was on my med list. 

 

I've gotta say I'm very thankful the people that took care of me in the hospital were awesome. Right down to the housekeepers and all the way up to the charge nurse for the floor. Thank you all!!!

 

Sad news over the weekend my neighbor Jim had a minor heart attack and fluid in the lungs. Sadly my neighbor passed away June 30th 8pm. Rest In Peace - Jim Gould. He was a wonderful neighbor both Jim and Sharon adopted me into there family after mom passed away. I had the blessing to have the ability to get the charge nurse to release me from my floor and be transported by wheel chair down to see Jim one last time. 

 

I'm home and doing rather quite well for a guy that had his bladder and prostate remove then 9 inches of my small intestine turned into my stoma and plumbing. Having a ostomy bag isn't the end of the world. After everything heals on me it won't be bad at all. I can mens urinals again. Yeah I've got to do some clothes shopping get shirts and different pants to work with my ostomy bag. It was awesome to sleep through the night at home.

 

Another sad moment in time. Lost another friend to a very rare form of cancer that attacks the soft connective tissues in the body his started in his neck and between chemo and radiation wasn't enough and cancer won and took his life two days before my surgery. Rest In Peace - Randy which was a friend.

 

Now the struggles of learning my new life after I heal for a good month. Like standing in front of the bathroom mirror and looking at my belly for really the first time. I've been cut all over my belly and have the doctor digging into me to create my urostomy. Yeah it looks like it hurts. but here shortly have some my holes heal up I can finally take normal showers with my ostomy bag. It will be like my first full shower in the hospital. I was like a little kid play in the water and running over my back and my head having a ball.

 

As for changing my ostomy bag it not hard at all but I'm going to take advantage of my 2 piece bag and just mount the base first before snapping the bag to the base so I can center the base hole easier over my stoma on my belly which is 1-3/8 for size for my base hole stoma is closer to 1-1/4 so there is a bit of give for mount and so I don't rub the stoma much.

 

As for the hospital stay. I had more fun at night with nurses. I make a request for a night walk and nurse would vote on my 3 different wigs I brought along. Every one staff wise loved my avatar photo which is my black and purple hair and my black makeup. Change of shift I ended up with different staff so the fun always got started few hours after shift change. Most would inquire about my look and hair. Everyone enjoyed put smiles on even other patients i would happen to see on my walks.

57 minutes ago, Mopar1973Man said:

I'm home. Man it's so nice to crash in my own bed at night. My pain level and anxiety are much lower. My blood pressure is very easy to control using my cannabis. I also so nice to lay in bed all night and not have alarms or bag to dump every 4 hours. I got home Einar made dinner and I loaded up with plenty of food. Started hitting the vape pen I got pretty stoned last night moved to my bed and set up my night bag. Got myself hooked up and rolled over and passed out at 9pm and slept till 5am. That was awesome sleep. I feel very recharged and ready for today. My pain is like when your doing injectors the milk crate slides out from your feet and you scrap your belly on the hood latch. Internally I feel nothing. In my lower back I feel nothing. So basically I feel the skin level stuff but internally I'm a constant zero. I know I'm going to heal much faster at home than in the hospital. My anxiety is way down now too. I was anxiety drug and I'm glad I got one it helped the entire time I was in the hospital being it was on my med list. 

 

I've gotta say I'm very thankful the people that took care of me in the hospital were awesome. Right down to the housekeepers and all the way up to the charge nurse for the floor. Thank you all!!!

 

Sad news over the weekend my neighbor Jim had a minor heart attack and fluid in the lungs. Sadly my neighbor passed away June 30th 8pm. Rest In Peace - Jim Gould. He was a wonderful neighbor both Jim and Sharon adopted me into there family after mom passed away. I had the blessing to have the ability to get the charge nurse to release me from my floor and be transported by wheel chair down to see Jim one last time. 

 

I'm home and doing rather quite well for a guy that had his bladder and prostate remove then 9 inches of my small intestine turned into my stoma and plumbing. Having a ostomy bag isn't the end of the world. After everything heals on me it won't be bad at all. I can mens urinals again. Yeah I've got to do some clothes shopping get shirts and different pants to work with my ostomy bag. It was awesome to sleep through the night at home.

 

Another sad moment in time. Lost another friend to a very rare form of cancer that attacks the soft connective tissues in the body his started in his neck and between chemo and radiation wasn't enough and cancer won and took his life two days before my surgery. Rest In Peace - Randy which was a friend.

 

Now the struggles of learning my new life after I heal for a good month. Like standing in front of the bathroom mirror and looking at my belly for really the first time. I've been cut all over my belly and have the doctor digging into me to create my urostomy. Yeah it looks like it hurts. but here shortly have some my holes heal up I can finally take normal showers with my ostomy bag. It will be like my first full shower in the hospital. I was like a little kid play in the water and running over my back and my head having a ball.

 

As for changing my ostomy bag it not hard at all but I'm going to take advantage of my 2 piece bag and just mount the base first before snapping the bag to the base so I can center the base hole easier over my stoma on my belly which is 1-3/8 for size for my base hole stoma is closer to 1-1/4 so there is a bit of give for mount and so I don't rub the stoma much.

 

As for the hospital stay. I had more fun at night with nurses. I make a request for a night walk and nurse would vote on my 3 different wigs I brought along. Every one staff wise loved my avatar photo which is my black and purple hair and my black makeup. Change of shift I ended up with different staff so the fun always got started few hours after shift change. Most would inquire about my look and hair. Everyone enjoyed put smiles on even other patients i would happen to see on my walks.

Awesome so happy you are back home and doing so well in the recovery process.  Take good care and get the rest you need. Try not to rush it. I know it’s tempting.

1 hour ago, leety said:

Awesome so happy you are back home and doing so well in the recovery process.  Take good care and get the rest you need. Try not to rush it. I know it’s tempting.

Oh I know I'm just excited to be home just laying in my own bed. Already talked to Mark and he know to grab the baseball bat and whack me when I attempt to do anything. I'll admit I'm got up and wake and bake today. Way better than the big pharma pain drugs. Nice day and about 73°F outside and just nice to lay here looking my big bay window at the yard and birds doing their thing. I might get up soon and figure out breakfast I need some munchies. Lol.

being home is the best healing you can do! 

3 hours ago, PilotHouse2500 said:

being home is the best healing you can do! 

Also best ways to test what works and dont work. Friends are trying so hard to make every thing like super tasty or trying bring more normal food. I paid the price twice in a day. AJ brought me a half of BLT sandwich. Oh that was so good but the lettuce made me gassy and painful. Ouch. Then Einar made a creamy type of hamburger helper looked good but just a but strong on black pepper oh that hurt again. Now that I'm attempting to get things right and such yeah I've gotta be careful on foods I eat even though it looks good smells good no high fiber oh my Gwad that chit hurts.

 

Today I've got to change my bag day. MON and WED. Right now my belly is sore from a few food mishaps. No high fiber foods I ate a leaf of lettuce OMG that hurt. Then Einar made a home brew hamburger helper for me but there was black pepper mixed in tasted awesome but OMG that hurts. You know I'm enjoying my 2L night bag I can couple up and pass out for entire night.

 

I could change to MON  and THU being I'm a bit sore right now. We will see how morning goes and if im showing any signs of leaking or skin problems. Might be nice to shower after my woulds on my back and belly are tended to first this morning.

 

Other than that the old Michael Nelson is changing before peoples eyes and my not putting up with bullchit from anyone but taking care of me first. I seriously thinking  going to Urgent Care and getting my wounds looked at and see how much I can get removed. Grab a few bottles of alcohol for sanitizing my work space. This way on bag change days I can get a shower without bag and clean up really good. Afterwards I do have to dry my skin very well to ensure the base sticks to my belly like putting on a bandaid on a wet finger. Don't work. 

 

Second night with my night bag is awesome and sleep the full time of the night without the mental call to wake up and drain my bladder or old bag systems. 

 

Even all my time in the hospital I was just enjoying to be different. This part of my life I don't care. I still continue to do my make up daily and my hair. Just like my body I'm forever changed I'll never be the same. With my stoma I can get hernias easy being those muscles have been cut. I've got a bag hanging off the front of my belly. Now ive got to learn my new life and how to do things carefully and being able to get the bag change down to a science. It not quite peel and stick on. The is steps to remove, clean, prep the new bag and base with sealant, and apply. Only like 15 minutes but I'll admit I'm nervous first time solo today. I'm more or less looking for the most bang for the buck today. 

 

Note to self I need razor blade I need to shave.

 

On 7/3/2024 at 7:32 AM, Mopar1973Man said:

Also best ways to test what works and dont work. Friends are trying so hard to make every thing like super tasty or trying bring more normal food. I paid the price twice in a day. AJ brought me a half of BLT sandwich. Oh that was so good but the lettuce made me gassy and painful. Ouch. Then Einar made a creamy type of hamburger helper looked good but just a but strong on black pepper oh that hurt again. Now that I'm attempting to get things right and such yeah I've gotta be careful on foods I eat even though it looks good smells good no high fiber oh my Gwad that chit hurts.

 

Today I've got to change my bag day. MON and WED. Right now my belly is sore from a few food mishaps. No high fiber foods I ate a leaf of lettuce OMG that hurt. Then Einar made a home brew hamburger helper for me but there was black pepper mixed in tasted awesome but OMG that hurts. You know I'm enjoying my 2L night bag I can couple up and pass out for entire night.

 

I could change to MON  and THU being I'm a bit sore right now. We will see how morning goes and if im showing any signs of leaking or skin problems. Might be nice to shower after my woulds on my back and belly are tended to first this morning.

 

Other than that the old Michael Nelson is changing before peoples eyes and my not putting up with bullchit from anyone but taking care of me first. I seriously thinking  going to Urgent Care and getting my wounds looked at and see how much I can get removed. Grab a few bottles of alcohol for sanitizing my work space. This way on bag change days I can get a shower without bag and clean up really good. Afterwards I do have to dry my skin very well to ensure the base sticks to my belly like putting on a bandaid on a wet finger. Don't work. 

 

Second night with my night bag is awesome and sleep the full time of the night without the mental call to wake up and drain my bladder or old bag systems. 

 

Even all my time in the hospital I was just enjoying to be different. This part of my life I don't care. I still continue to do my make up daily and my hair. Just like my body I'm forever changed I'll never be the same. With my stoma I can get hernias easy being those muscles have been cut. I've got a bag hanging off the front of my belly. Now ive got to learn my new life and how to do things carefully and being able to get the bag change down to a science. It not quite peel and stick on. The is steps to remove, clean, prep the new bag and base with sealant, and apply. Only like 15 minutes but I'll admit I'm nervous first time solo today. I'm more or less looking for the most bang for the buck today. 

 

Note to self I need razor blade I need to shave.

 

Hang in there. Listen to your body and try to give it all the rest it needs.  I know that‘s hard when you’re a doer. As I have gotten older I have had to move my diet in a much healthier direction or I don’t feel as good as I want to.  This situation may be a bump on that for you. Holding you in my thoughts.

Video update...

 

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTNkcbcJv/

I'm healing slowly. Struggling with my ostomy bag off on on. Somedays are easy others just suck. Like this morning I woke up and started my morning getting coffee made and wondered why my shirt is wet and my pants. My ostomy separated from my belly and leaked into my belly button. Kind of like a weep hole on a water pump. I learning you really have to keep your skin dry so the base adhesives can continue to stick to me solid. After changing my bag quickly I got dressed in shorts and a tee shirt. Put my make up on and wear my black wig today. 3.5 hours or driving I find that leaving my ostomy bag freely hang is way more comfortable than tucked in which diminish the capacity and requires more stops to drain. 

 

I've also learned my pain tolerance is much higher than I thought. Now my medical team uses my blood pressure now to gauge my pain levels. 

 

I'll admit it's been a huge change of life for me. Finally have a 2L bag for night time and wonderful to sleep all night through. Another wonderful tidbit is finally be able to have a shower and get my body wet and enjoy hot water on my back. I have to blow dry the base after my shower. Hopefully soon I'll be able to shower without my bag.

 

Currently just sitting I'm still very sore and takes quite a bit out of me. I'm most happiest laying flat on my bed and my pain and blood pressure falls shortly after laying down. Yeah I know it's just a matter of time till I heal and this should fade too.

This is the first time in 6 months I've been able to sit at my true computer and work at my desk. Yeah, my desk is an absolute trainwreck with paperwork and medical stuff everywhere. I'm going to slowly come out of my shell. I still hurt off and on but I'm starting to get trying of the being sick and laying in bed crap its time to get shaking and grooving the best I can. If it mean only working a short day and getting a few things done OK. Mark asked me to diagnose Thor yesterday. I ordered a tapped banjo bolt to diagnose the lift pump pressure and performance from the fuel tank to find out its at ZERO pressure. You can hear the pump but no pressure. If felt good to just get my hands dirty for a moment and hook up a fuel pressure gauge. 

 

It's not easy to deal with the intestinal pain and issues at times. Gas pains can be serious business which are capable of dropping me to my knees or on the floor pretty quick yet. Eventually, the healing section of my bowels will quit this and should happen about 4 to 5 weeks after surgery I'm just heading to my 3 weeks but still struggling to keep going. 

 

As for me I'm doing what I can and taking breaks as needed to keep moving forward. Yesterday I got my shower and came out to the kitchen and cleaned it all up. I can handle about 2 to 3 hours with breaks to allow my abdominal muscles a chance to relax once in a while. You'll never know how much you take it for granted that your core muscle group really does a lot for you and your standing posture. Like I've always remember that I'm a high risk for a hernia being I've got a hole in my abdominal wall where my stoma comes through now. 

 

Other than that I want to gain my life back now that I'm cancer-free and feeling my strength slowly returning back to me. Still I have lots of doctor's appointments yet to do. Yesterday I slept in really good and spaced off my appointment that morning.  Yeah my 2L night bag I really do enjoy being able to sleep all night long without having to get up to pee like in the beginning setting my alarm for 9pm, 12 midnight, 3am, 6am and 9am. Yeah I did that every night for 6 months. Now I it the bed and couple up to my night bag and SLEEP like a ROCK.

 

 

Your command and chief it returning to what he's used to doing slowly. 

Edited July 17, 2024Jul 17 by Mopar1973Man

Set back. Few days ago I had my stents removed. The doctor nicked my stoma trying to cut the string holding my stents in place. I healed up. Do remember I'm on blood thinners. Sadly that nick started bleeding last night as I slept. Woke to a bag with bloody urine. Hoping it would stop but it didn't. I made the run to mccall hospital and been here since 9am. Bleeding is stopped and I'm covered in my own blood. My ostomy base failed and I started just bleeding down the front of my shirt and shorts. Ugh.

 

I'm OK. I'm getting IV fluids and going to be sent home. I've got to stay off my blood thinners for about 3 days.

 

 

Even with the set backs I still clomb out of bed and pull it together for my fans that enjoy my Goth look.

1 hour ago, Mopar1973Man said:

 

Even with the set backs I still clomb out of bed and pull it together for my fans that enjoy my Goth look.

Thanks for all the updates.  You’ve been on my mind a lot lately.  It’s great to see your progress.  You are truly an inspiration!!