Wild and Free

THE $2.00 BILL I TRIED TO SPEND: Everyone should start carrying $2 bills! I am STILL laughing!! I think we need to quit saving our $2 bills and bring them out in public. The younger generation doesn't even know they exist. STORY: On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold are a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about anyone getting irritated at me for trying to break a $50 bill. Me: 'Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.' Server: 'That'll be $1.04. Eat in?' Me: 'No, it's to go.' At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny. Server: 'Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back.' He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them: Server: 'Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?' Manager : 'No. A what?' Server: 'A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me..' Manager: 'Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill.' Server: 'Yeah, thought so.' He comes back to me and says, 'We don't take these. Do you have anything else?' Me : 'Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?' Server: 'I don't know.' Me: 'See here where it says legal tender?' Server: 'Yeah.' Me: 'So, why won't you take it?' Server: 'Well, hang on a sec.' He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, 'He says I have to take it..' Manager: 'Doesn't he have anything else?' Server: 'Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change Manager: 'I'm not opening the safe with him in here.' Server: 'What should I do?' Manager: 'Tell him to come back later when he has real money.' Server : 'I can't tell him that! You tell him.' Manager: 'Just tell him.' Server: 'No way! This is weird. I'm going in back. The manager approaches me and says, 'I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of night.' Me: 'It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill.' Manager: 'We don't take those, either.' Me: 'Why not?' Manager: 'I think you know why.' Me: 'No really, tell me why.' Manager : 'Please leave before I call mall security.' Me: 'Excuse me?' Manager: 'Please leave before I call mall security.' Me: 'What on earth for?' Manager: 'Please, sir.' Me: 'Uh, go ahead, call them.' Manager: 'Would you please just leave?' Me: 'No.' Manager: 'Fine -- have it your way then.' Me: 'Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?' At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in. Guard: 'Yeah, Mike, what's up?' Manager (whispering): 'This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money..' Guard: 'No kidding! What?' Manager: 'Get this. A two dollar bill.' Guard (incredulous): 'Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?' Manager: 'I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.' Guard: 'Oh, so the fifty's fake!' Manager: 'No, the two dollar bill is.' Guard: 'Why would he fake a two dollar bill?' Manager : 'I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?' Guard: 'Yeah.' Security Guard walks over to me and...... Guard: 'Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use.' Me: 'Uh, no.' Guard: 'Lemme see 'em.' Me: 'Why?' Guard: 'Do you want me to get the cops in here?' At this point I am ready to say, ' Sure, please!' but I want to eat, so I say , 'I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill. I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says, 'Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?' Manager: 'It's fake.' Guard: 'It doesn't look fake to me.' Manager: 'But it's a two dollar bill.' Guard: 'Yeah? ' Manager: 'Well, there's no such thing, is there?' The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot, and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an idiot .. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too. Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. You get free food there, too. Just think...those two will be voting soon ....YIKES!!! Too late, we already have a nation full of them.

Tight Zipper As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step. Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step. About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled, 'How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!' The Texan smiled and drawled, 'Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends.'

Four guys from Wisconsin spend weeks planning the perfect football outing for the game between the Minnesota Vikings and Green Bay Packers. Two days before the group is to leave Frank's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Frank's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do? Two days later the three get to the stadium site only to find Frank sitting in his seat with a beer in one hand and a hot dog in the other. "Damn man, how long have you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?" "Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said 'guess who'?" I pulled her hands off and she was wearing a brand new see through nightie. She took my hand and took me to our bedroom. The room had two dozen candles and rose pedals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed and I did. And then she said "Do whatever you want." "So here I am."

I take offense to the ricer comment.......:shocked2: My lil German car likes diesel as much as our cummins, Well not nearly as much of it though 45mpg overall average. :thumbsup:

2005 Dodge ram cummins2002 Dodge ram cummins2003 VW Jetta TDI. And toys.......lots of toys.......:p

That is classic bad injector related issues with 03 models. What are the rail pressures while cranking? They tend to stick and return fuel it needs in the range of around 6kpsi to start IIRC. They will run fine ect but the injectors are about dead. other than that retorque the connecting nuts to 40 ft lbs to make sure there are no leaks.

You won't necessarily see the fluid moving at idle. Was it low on oil when you niticed you had no steering and brakes. I just replaced my steering gear and it took 3 days of driving to get all the air worked out of the system for the brakes to feel normal again. At idle step brake pedal down fairly hard and then you should get some steering. You may also want to pull and clean the pump screen. It is locaded inside part #2 of the picture in the site I will post below. Check out this ite for good info on the pump. http://westtexasoffroad.homestead.com/powersteering.html

I change oil every 10k on my 05 with the amsoil bypass. Just my thing as the newer ones burn a lot sootier than the older ones. Plus it runs a lot of unsavory conditions year round.

I look at the positive thing, I work at a coal mine and there are probably lots of people who would love to have a lump of coal just for the heat they could get from it. You say it like it was a bad thing................

:lol3::biggrin: Fitting to the weather we have right now I got a full set of Under Armor underwear for when I go coyote hunting at sub zero temps all day.

Merry christmas, I am headed out into a blizzard to go 60 miles to my mother inlaws. Expexting about 10 inches today with 40+ MPH winds.

It is a really simple piston pump, As do all pumps they are all prone to failure at some point. They are suseptable to moisture and contamination and lack of lube "Lift pump failure" much like any other type of pump. The early cr's had a bit higher failure rate most likely due to coming with the 10 micron fuel filter they "Chrysler" have since changed "Recommend" to 7 micron fuel filters. I have seen plugs blow out of cp3 pumps already.

Mine just got done with that same thing, I just recalibrated the APPS and all is good again.

How do you know you have blowby at or over 70 mph? Maybe I don't want to know.......You either have a long neck or the vent tube exiting at the windshield.:p

Once again those bags all work in unison and are load sensing and self leveling systems unlike the after market bags for pickups. I am not knocking the air bags but they are to be used as load carrying add ons not meant to be used to level loads.

I would never ever install used injectors without having them tested and Balanced. Make sure they adjust the pressures as close to one another as possible "Balanced". Call scheids and see where they like to set the pressures at for those injectors andf have the shop set them to that spec.

He has a BD pressure lock and the install of that requires the removal of the trans relay and the terminals have to be jumped for the operation of the pressure lock. As for his question on the pressure lock I feel it is not neccesary in my case because I already have an aftermarket valve body which increases internal pressures in the tranny. Th Pressure lock is designed mainly for stock tranny and its purpose is to stroke the servo valve earlier, when the throttle is at 30% the servo should be stroked to what would be 80% throttle travel. thus increasing tranny pressures sooner than would be normally, Some tranny shops actually have setups for the BD pressure lock to operate off of boost pressure for high performance guys instead of the electric over vacuum like it is designed to work from. Hopefully I didn't cornfuzz ya too bad.

My rig has had the p 0622 code since I bought it with 18k miles on it in 02 and it is always there and comes back the instant it is started if cleared, it has never been an issue. 7 years 110k and counting. Neither of those should cause a CEL.

Yes it does due to the fact that the relay is removed and terminals are jumped instead. I too have a pressure lock that I am going to remove due to issues I am having with it. Plus I feel it is redundant due to already having a better valvebody.

Where the replacement injectors pressure "Pop" tested,check spray pattern and recalibrated prior to install?

Timbrens do not lift anything it is merely a long compressable bumpstop. Air bags need to work together, If you air one up harder than another to adjust the leaning to one side it will thus be harder and cause ride issues not to mention the weight transfer it could cause in corners. Air bags are not meant to level one side or another they are meant to help hold up the rear as a whole and work in unison. If he has one side heavier than the other the timbrens or similar setup would be the easiest and cheapers route to go. After rereading his vehicle description, If the rig sees the welder permanently mounted to one side the best solution is to re arch the springs and/or add an extra leaf to the rear leaf spring pack. He may also want to look at getting heavier front coil springs like the factory snow plow package springs ending part # 988 AA "If its 4X4" because I would bet being its a flatbed rig the front springs are adding to the lean also.

Could be a parasitic loss through the alternator also if it has a bad diode ect. If you don't have a good meter to check it out with, disconnect the batt wire from the alt and see If it still discharges.

Yep as with everything else every mfg has to have its own name for the same thing.......:rolleyes2:

He is not the only one, many people are using that process now and even most syn mfgs and OEM engine builders are recommending that process. All the oil eventually gets changes out anyhow via the filter changing. Lots of new Offroad equipment never get the oil changed at all, it meters so much used oil into the fuel tank and has a clean oil tank that refills the crankcase through a metering process. Just change filters every X amount of hours and keep the new oil reservoir full. Its called oil renewal system on CAT equipment.

Jack the frame up in the front about an inch and a half or so and then turn the wheels to one side and see if they still rub, this will tell you if a leveling kit will work or if you have a back spacing issue. Measure from center of hub to fender lip to get the 1.5 inch lift don't measure 1.5 inch at the bumper when jacking the front frame up to relieve the suspension pressure.