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dorkweed

Stuff Woodburners Should Never Hear……………or Say

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OK, I think this'll be fun here!!!I'll start it off…………………………….1. Sounds like your wood is too dry2. I miss my natural gas heat3. How can I make more creosote4. I have too much wood5. Flames shooting out of your chimney are the "secondary" burn taking place6. If you keep burning pine, you'll go blindLet's keep it going guys!!:lmao2::lmao::thumb1:

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Just use a little gasoline to start the fire... (BOOM!)My wood is a bit rotten...Firewood is too expensive...Chainsaw(s) are too expensive to fix...Too far to drive to get firewood...My truck is broke down can I barrow yours?Too hard to split firewood...

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1. When neighbors look at my wood stacks and say……………………."Don't you have enough wood yet?" My answer; "That's a personal question, don't you think?":cool:2. If I had the time I'd cut, split, stack and burn wood like you…………………….quote from a retired person.3. Neighbor said, "There's no way you can heat your house with wood around here." My answer, "Wanna come in and feel the heat and see last years gas bills?"4. Neighbor saying………….."Don't let that wood sit too long or it'll rot."5. All quotes from the same neighbor!!!!!

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1. Oak burns too long…………….I'm switching to pine.2. It was "standing dead"……………..it's dry enough to burn3. I love to hear the wood "sizzle" when I throw a log on the fire.:duh:

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I need to go to town for more "Pellets"

Buahahahaha!!!:lmao2::lmao: Kinda defeats the purpose of "burning wood". Hey??:duh:

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Kinda defeats the purpose of "burning wood". Hey??:duh:

Kinda like them corn stoves, eh?

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1. I work out at the gym 4 days a week; you should join me. Neighbor that still is 3 spins after "working out" for over a year now.2. My chain is still OK…………………..I only hit the chain link fence twice!!!:bang head:3. This was cut over a year ago and I split it last week…………..it's good to burn now.4. No need for them "fancy" chimneys when you can route them out a window!!:duh:………I'll take a picture of this set up as it's in my neighborhood!!!!:cookoo:

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You don't need a chimney brush you just need to light the other fire. Then call the Salmon River Rural Fire Dept. (True thing I get plenty of chimney fire calls)Oh I didn't know your party line was nailed to that tree? (Real thing back in the day they used old 1 wire party lines for the USFS look out towers)Oh don't worry about the chimney running horizontally along the ceiling. (The original builder of my house did this with the shop stove!)Can I barrow your chainsaw? (Answer is "Hell No!" with extra ice.)Can I barrow your truck? (Same as above)

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I have burned both but only if they are very old and dry but only one small piece at a time just to get the fire going initially, otherwise they get too hot too fast. I usually use them for outside bon fire material.

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I felt sorry for the "gas" man when he came to read the meter………..he took a "double-take" when he read it………..he looked so sad.I "season" my firewood with salt………….it dries it out faster.

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I just hate the idea of being self-reliant…………………..so does the gas companyI get all my firewood from the gas station down the road……………….it's so convenient

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Honey, I put this big log into the woodstove but can't shut the door. Well pull it out! No, I can't it's blazing like mad :stuned:What's this lawsuit for criminal trespass?I'm sorry honey I was caught cutting firewood on the gas company's land.:doh:

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