Ok... It's time to start a new page in my life.

 

My mother @MoparMom has passed on (rest in peace) then I've got my wonderful girlfriend @Wet Vette that has been at my side the entire time. I've been super busy as of yet between taking care of last few thing for Mom death certificate and Eileen's medical appointments. I'm doing good and got my mind focus on moving on. Don't get me wrong I still have my weak moments and shed a tear or two with certain triggers. Even that is getting better. 

 

Give me a about one more month and then I'm going to be back here really working the website. I plan on getting back to article writing and being here on the site to help people more. I won't have all the long hours of driving like the last 4 years. I'm convinced that with a bit more effort I could really make this website pop. We are clearing about 2,200 people per day on the site. 

 

Like the conversation over on @JAG1 camping club I plan on having the RV ready for travel this spring. I need to get my transmission pulled and sent back for warranty work for 2nd gear. Even want to have the ATV ready too to load in the back of thew truck for local stuff like firewood hunting, camping, etc. 

 

The other thing I want to get my shop rolling, the fact I'm the only mechanic in the area now. I've got a huge chance at really building up a good local mechanics business. I've got lots to do do done at my other shop at Russ's place in Pollock. I've about got all 3 bays clean up the way I want it. After spring gets here I want to get the yard clean up more for parking. 

 

I've got to admit I know I'm pretty tired from all the long driving even now I'm still running back to Boise today. This why I'm saying about another month of so to get rolling 100%. I plan on taking some time off and getting to meet my new family and other mother (Eileen's mom) then I'll have a grandmother (Eileen's Grandmother) to go visit few hours from there. I'm might of lost my own mother but I've got another family that accepted me. So this is going be part of my healing time I'm going to do soon. 

 

I've got a ton load to do at home still like going through all of Mom's stuff and get things gather up for donations, trash, yard sale, etc. This is the other part I've got to do that a bit tough. Like I've told friends I'm not going to hang on to all of Mom's stuff I got to move on and look forward, yeah there will be some keepsakes. Both houses are just a mess right now with boxes and stuff scattered between storage, the guest house, and the main house. I've got big pieces of furniture that will need to be sold. I've got walls to paint and carpet to replace. 

 

Last night I ran my first fire call in 4 years. Even that felt great to do once again. Nice to get back to the thing I use to enjoy. It also made me think I need to re-order the house for what I'm going to be doing. Like my fire bag need to be repacked and kept at the front door for the next call. I'll be able to jump back in my Station #1 Captain position once again and doing all the fire truck repairs like I did years ago. Like riding a bicycle you'll remember pretty quick how to do it. 

 

I did do something fun for once and I gotta share. We need to be in Nampa area on Monday evening being Eileen's doctors appoint was at 8am next morning. We packed up a bit early and went down and went to a concert. This happen to be my first one in Idaho. Breaking Benjamin and Korn at the Ford Center in Nampa. 

 

 

 

Edited February 27, 20205 yr by Mopar1973Man

Sounds like you’re going to be busy doing what you enjoy! 

19 minutes ago, Threadzy said:

Sounds like you’re going to be busy doing what you enjoy! 

 

Yeah, It will take some time but I'll get there. Spring is coming and I know my business will take off like typically with A/C jobs and repairs. The only thing I'm not exactly happy with is all the stuff pulling me sideways for the moment. 

 

Like I told Eileen I will be happy when I have a normal month of just going to work and coming home. Right now I'm in a state of confusion because I knew how to operate under the schedule of dialysis and work. Now to wrap my mind around a normal work week is still out of reach for the time. Like this week I've been gone since Monday evening. Now I'm home for Wednesday night and now heading back to Weiser and Nampa. Like just looking out the window at the firewood pile I need to be home to split wood and bring some in. I'm on the heat pump for now being I'm leaving again this morning. 

Don't sweat it Mike. When I got done with the 18 month long project I had an overwhelming amount of loose ends around my place. Didn't know where to start so I just quit thinking about it and after 4 weeks of just following each item one at a time...  the feeling of organized accomplishment became a reward. Some items needed fixing would relate to two other things before I could fix it so I just stuck with that wherever it lead, wherever I had to go, not leaving it there like so many times before. Of course I did not worry about time.... I threw all clocks in the chit can.

 

BTW, if them clocks start to show their ugly face again, It'll be target practice time. 

Edited February 27, 20205 yr by JAG1

Well on Thursday I made the trip back down to Weiser, ID to start the process of the death certificate and the cremation of Mom remains. This went smoothly till I asked to say my goodbye to Mom once again. Yeah I lost it and know she was with the Good Lord and no longer suffering.

 

After getting done there I told Eileen lets go over to the Weiser Famer's Cafe and get breakfast. This was my old breakfast spot but know the food is good. Went in as usual and the I jumped up to catch the manager of the store. Talking to her and then Eileen steps around the corner to tell me my truck had rolled off. I go outside and look sure enough it rolled out if its parking spot and collided with a 4th Gen Dodge right at the flat bed. The 4th gen was fine with a few scratches in the flatbed rail. My truck on the other hand hit twice. Once it hit just above the bumper tweaked the passenger light light, corner of the bed and the tailgate. Then hit a second time and came to rest on the bumper which is also bent too pretty good. I look down and the brake cable separated are the clip of the middle cable under the cab. As I unlock the truck and look down the hydro-booster at some point has been pissing power steering fluid on the floor mat. WTH? Geez!

 

 

Now things get a bit crazy...

 

I called about the body damage on my truck to the insurance company. The problem I'm faced with is Mom and Dad both have there names on the title of my truck. So the insurance company would send the check to my Mom. So now I need to change the title of my truck to my name. Problem Power of Attorney only works with the person living. Now I got to complete the death certificate and file other paperwork to change the title of my truck. Then I can file my insurance claim which I've got full coverage on my truck. Yup... Just doesn't get any easier.  

 

Instead of doing the next step which is why I took the truck I was going to continue to Nampa, ID and pull more of Eileen's stuff from storage. Eileen popped up there is just too many things says its just time to go home. We've already had a long week leaving on Monday evening and stayed till Wednesday afternoon with medical appointments. 

 

Came home and I went to work on Friday. Trying to finish my Chevy transmission project. All done but the starter is bad and Russ has got one some where on the property with all his junk and spare parts. I've got a A/C compressor I picked pu to install for today. 

 

I'm right now aiming for a normal week of being at home. Get up go to work and come home. I'm so glad to not have to make that long drive for dialysis anymore. Now I've got to fix all the damage to my truck and repair the transmission which is under warranty still.

 

I'll get things sorted out and caught up. As for me I'm still doing good. Mentally I have troubles keeping Mom out of my thoughts but that what happens when you care for someone so long. The other thing I keep hearing is all the comments from people of how well I took care of my Mother. Doctors, friends, just people passing in restaurants. Everyone has alway mention that I've done a awesome job of tending to her dialysis needs and medical requirements. I don't regret letting go. I've managed to save her life 3 different times. This time the good Lord said, "No more she is coming with me!". I accept that. 

 

Like yesterday after work I came home and cleaned up Mom's little prayer shine she has out the Kitchen Window. This hit hard and had me crying. Yeah I said my prayers asking for the Good Lord to tend to my Mother. 

 

 

Edited February 29, 20205 yr by Mopar1973Man

My dad died 24 years ago and mom about 14 year ago. Its funny how some thing small will bring some tears on but I always end with smile and a breif conversation with one or the other even to this day.

22 hours ago, dripley said:

My dad died 24 years ago and mom about 14 year ago. Its funny how some thing small will bring some tears on but I always end with smile and a breif conversation with one or the other even to this day.

Thanks Dave... that means a lot to me. Yeah I have different triggers and deal with the heartache and loss. The only thing I'm happy with is mom is no longer suffering.

As for yesterday it was nice to just be back at normal work. I had a busy shop for part the day. I went into town first installed the A/C compressor in a Dodge Durango, I've got to first with the freon yet. Ran into @Taz in Riggins, ID. Had a interesting conversation. There is a job opportunity that I going to look into. It a local job and pays quite well... That is far as I'm going to say at this time on this. I was awesome catching up with my best friend after 7 months.  Made some plans for going camping and riding ATVs towards spring time. I had to get moving on for the day and headed back to my shop. Finished up the Chevy with an salvage transmission. Needless to say fired it up and found the rear of the transmission housing is cracked. This truck was shoved out the door. Then started the W-T ground wire mod on the Landlord's Cummins. Shop was hopping for me. Then after all this I help Russ tear down a Chevy pickup pulled the truck apart and then pull the engine and transmission in one piece. 

WeeHaw... 

 

My first Sunday to sit around the house and go nowhere. Actually get to just be at home for once. Eileen just took off for the store for fixin' for lunch today. One of her daughters (Jessica) is coming out today to see if there is any of Mom's clothes she would want. Then right around noon I should see @Taz show up and hang out for a bit. This will be the first gathering we have had at this house in a long time. I'm enjoying my life of getting back to work and coming home. Strange to see the fuel last a lot longer and not have the huge fuel bill every month. Getting nice not having to get up early and driving in the dark. Life is getting simpler but also having to learn to live for "me" now, well to be correct live for "us" Eileen and myself. 

 

Eileen has been huge help in just tending to the house, sorting stuff, helping setup our stuff, etc. I's been a huge task and she has done quite a bit and we have so much more to do. She is totally awesome woman. Every day we mesh together in a task and can knock out things left and right. 

 

For me as soon as we can get thing sorted out a bit I know we plan on making a trip south to Susanville, CA to see Eileen's mother. Then a few other stops to see grandparents. Kind of healing process with me to just break away for a time. I find the more time I'm alone the tougher it is for me to keep form thinking of Mom. As long as I can stay busy working with other like yesterday I don't even think of Mom. 

 

Monday should be fun I'm planning on hauling the Cummins down to the shop and use the two post to pull my transmission and get it repaired again. While its there I'll replace all the brake cables on the underside. I should grab a few cans of Rustoleum and cover up some of the rust on the frame. 

On 2/29/2020 at 9:32 AM, Mopar1973Man said:

 

 

Like yesterday after work I came home and cleaned up Mom's little prayer shine she has out the Kitchen Window. This hit hard and had me crying. Yeah I said my prayers asking for the Good Lord to tend to my Mother. 

 

 

I remember one of your moms replies to a thread. She mentioned she was from Ukraine. By the looks of her prayer shrine she was of the Catholic faith. I am not Ukrainian, but belong to a UC Church. We have quite a few Rosalie's there. Pretty common name for a Uky girl. If you would like I can have a Mass said in her intention. It's the best thing we can do for the dearly departed IMO. I lost my mom in 08, and dad in 17. Still dream about them and break down pretty regularly. I don't see it as a sign of weakness but a sign of how much I loved my parents. It gets easier but you never forget them, nor should you.

Edited March 2, 20205 yr by dave110

Yeah I was looking a black folder on my bed. It was glamor shot of mom while back. BOOM! It hits like a bomb. Lost myself to the memory of mom back then. That is really tough.

1 hour ago, Mopar1973Man said:

Yeah I was looking a black folder on my bed. It was glamor shot of mom while back. BOOM! It hits like a bomb. Lost myself to the memory of mom back then. That is really tough.

 

First..sorry for your loss. 

 

Second...what you're going thru is entirely normal IMO.  Many months after losing my parents I would still fall apart at the darnest thing and the darnest time.   Could be a memory or something and I would just fall apart.  I (we) were braced for many months for my Moms death, but still when it happened it was still a shock to me (us).  To this day when my Moms wind chime makes a certain noise in the wind,   And it's been 11 years now. 

 

 

Edited March 2, 20205 yr by 015point9
info

Kind of rough to invite friends over to split up mom clothing but still in all there is nothing I could do with it. We have to clear out all the stuff from the closets. One at a time and slowly, donate, give away, etc. before anything get pitched in the trash.

 

As for today I've got a job in town to do or finish up with A/C recharge and then come back home and grab the Cummins and take it down to the two post. I'll get to remove my transmission again and ship it down to Weller to have 2nd Gear syncro replaced. Get this all bundled up and get the the check book ready to pay for cremation of Mom. Then on Tuesday I can just go down Weiser, ID and Boise, ID and kill to bird with one stone. Really don't want to drive that road anymore. 

Edited March 2, 20205 yr by Mopar1973Man

Sorry for your loss and good luck moving forward

I'm moving forward.

 

Even with crappy days like yesterday I just chalk it up to poor day. I ran to town to finish out a A/C job but being so cold outside I was not able to get the new compressor to fire up and have to force it to start to finish the charging with freon. I'm not sure if its going to fire up in the spring we will see. Then go home grab the Cummins drive down to the shop and rack it on the two post. Spin around and smack my head on the passenger side front lift arm. OUCH! That hurt big time enough to make me bleed. Thankfully, I call Eileen and got her to call me back on Facebook and look at my forehead. She gathered up supplies and came down to the shop and cleaned me up and doctored my wound. Still pulled the transmission in just about 3 hours, with about 30 minute slowdown with the blood running down my nose. Even with all that I managed to have all all the driveline pulled and start loosen up the transfer case before Eileen got there. As for the clutch I'll pull it down and check it all over closely. 

 

So as for this morning I'm up super early at 4:30am sad to say. Rough night of sleep for me. Too much on my mind. I've got the transmission loaded up and ready for Boise. During that trip I've got to stop by Weiser and pay the bill for Mom. 

 

I'm starting to adjust to my new life. Enjoying the thought of not having to drive long distances. Waiting to see a few months go back and re-math out the month budget for the house. Like I've shut down the heat pump completely. Been burning firewood more, don't have a ton of light on like Mom use to, doing laundry less often, everything should be less expensive than the last 4 years. 

 

Nice to get up and spend time on the forum and been working on the server a little bit to improve things and update softwares. Mornings are much more relaxed and less stressful being I can just stay home if the weather is bad. I'm no longer forced to drive in poor weather. Fuel in the trucks last much longer, and repairs should be less being the average is about 10 miles a day now at the best. 

 

Weird in between part of the season here, cold in the mornings and warming up during the day getting closer to 50's very soon. Snow is mostly gone here. I'm looking forward to traveling again, camping, being outdoors getting firewood. I'm working on gaining back my weekends and holidays so I can rest too now. Been playing catch up most of the week. 

Edited March 3, 20205 yr by Mopar1973Man

Rest is key, stress kills . Ever since we've moved 4 years ago for wife's better job, I've been driving to my old job that used to be less then 20 min away, now it's 140 ml round trip plus town driving, minimum 150 a day, gone 12 hours just for work, sleep is around 6-7 hours which has been getting to me on a healthy side, I think I aged 10 years in last 4 samontainusly getting older is a double kick in the nuts. 

Planning on switching job this summer if things plan out. Problem is I can't jump on any job as we leave pay check to pay check for now because of life style we chose, long story. Kids keep me going, just hope I'll get something closer before I kick the bucket 

Then I see some guys working 60 or more hours a week and drive a long ways for work then sleep even less and I feel lucky to have what I do.

Point is we can only do so much before paying the price our self. I know before you had no choice,  all of us would have done what it takes in situation like that. 

Hope you get things sorted out an have more time to enjoy life, it's way to short to stress over stupid things  like they say "life is a lesson you learn it when you're through "

Michael Nelson, IBMobile, Dieselfuture, Dripley and all of everyone on this forum...... you guys need to slow down once each day, forget about the money and the stupid clock for a moment and ask for Gods help in these matters. Mike your going to have a broken parking brake everyday unless you stop to say some prayers and learn to let it all go. You guys try steering the bull so hard, I know how it is, but just make sure your not squeezing out those important thank you moments for Him. If you can just hold a moment till you are truly thankful, asking for the help to be sincere about it and you will begin notice changes for the better. Sometimes you have to be just plain stubborn to have a little faith in spite of yourself and all human doubt. If your patient to wait on Him, never giving up hope, you will see what he wants you to see in His perfect timing and it will be good for you.

 

Hope you don't mind I just had to seize the chance to help you guys.

Edited March 4, 20205 yr by JAG1

I'm only trying to catch up right now. So, being the parking brake cable snapped, 2nd gear syncro is out and now with truck body damage needing to file insurance claim.

 

So when I called about the claim I missed the boat and didn't change my title and forgot. It was under my Mom's and Dad's names. Now the DVM will not let me swap title names without lots of paperwork. Only after this I can file the claim with my insurance. Then Got the truck in my big shop on the two post and got the transmission back down to Weller yesterday. Now Trying to order brake cables for the rear. Then once the truck is running again I need to get all of Eileen's stuff from storage and bring it home. (Less 50 a month overhead). Eileen is still trying to finish out here disability filing I'm taking care of all the bills. Income is very unstable right now and the amount of travel and overhead need to be looked at and trimmed back some. 

 

Big load to handle for now but I'm been praying that the Good lord to guide me through this and heal my heart some. I did lose it all last night coming back from Boise. There is a song far away by Breaking Benjamin...

 

 

This happens to be the last song that Mom happen to heard on the last trip to dialysis. Even to this day it still brings me to tears. Yup, even last night I totally last it before bed being tired and out of place being I'm still trying to get use to my new life of freedom. It does come with a certain amount of loneliness that is always there, that missing chunk. Still in all, I do not want Mom back knowing that it would only prolong her suffering. I must let her go.

 

The Good Lord does not play games Mom always told me... So I'm suppose to be here. I have to accept that. The Good Lord would of not help me survive my bladder cancer battle to then take my life. Nope, I'm suppose to carry on Good Lord has many other plans for me, I know. 

 

Then I got all the bills Mom left me with that I've got to finalize out. Just going to take time to get through the mess.

 

Edited March 4, 20205 yr by Mopar1973Man

I know its been a while since my last posting. 

 

Finally getting control of my life. This is my first weekend at home in a very long time. Last weekend I ended up taking Eileen back to the hospital with stomach pains and vomiting again. After being there for 4 days find out that Eileen has issues with her pancreas. After 4 days in the hospital they finally nail it down more, but still have more medical testing and such down in Boise. 

 

In the meantime I got my transmission back from Weller truck and they told me sorry for the two bad sets of syncros. Covered under warranty. Truck drives nice and shifts smooth once again. Now I'm focused on getting the RV cleaned up and fixed ASAP. Reason why is if Eileen has any medical appointments in Boise I would rather stay in my own RV with my own supplies than hotel and eating out in restaurants. It will be cheaper and safer this way for us. Still got my buddy in Parma that will allow me to stay with Water and Electricity for the RV. 

 

I'm kind of happy Mom passed on seeing this Corona Virus problem this would be a ultimate down fall for her not to mention being in the dialysis room would be very dangerous to her and us if she would of brought home the virus. 

Other than that I'm going to back to work on Monday morning stuff a transmission back in a Chevy Truck. 

 

 

Edited March 15, 20205 yr by Mopar1973Man

Just a fun day of pulling a Chevy Transmission. What is it with Chevy owners never change the gear box oil, check the level, or even thing about it. This one is locked up and transmission is being upgraded from the NV3500 to the NV4500.