Very sad news... We got to the Boise St. Luke's hospital to have the blood flow issues addressed in her legs but her body isn't able to hold up to another surgery. The only thing I can do is let her pass on. With her dementia issues she would never be able to finish rehab. With the blood flow issues she would end up losing both feet and be a painful 2 months more to live. The heart is already got the cardiac enzyme elevated showing she has had heart issues even during the time she had be in. I had to make the hard choice of letting Mom go. Yeah its breaking my heart to do but there is no way to fix her problems. 

 

Please say a prayer for @MoparMom that she passes on to the Good Lord and no longer in pain or suffering. 

 

I'll will heal in time myself. I've got a wonderful woman beside me and helping through these troubling times. I'm going to be slow around the site for a few days. 

 

The bonus is no longer doing these long trips to Ontario, OR anymore. MoparMom was getting really tired of the constant back and forth and the nasty weather this winter. No longer do she have to bury herself in blankets to stay warm. 

 

I've got to be back in Boise for @Wet Vette medical tomorrow and plan on stopping and seeing MoparMom once again. 

My condolence sent, sorry for your loss 

Very sorry for your loss.

I can say I've had my cry quite a few times yesterday. Still sad about it. In the other hand I'm free from tending to mom. I've got my own plans of making a new family. I've got 4 wonderful daughter that enjoy talking with me. Then a son that needs a bit guidance. I've got now a mother to go visit in Susanville and another grandmother to meet too.

 

I might of lost my mom but gained another family. I won't be alone.

 

Hardest thing for me is to reprogram myself to my own life.

9 minutes ago, Mopar1973Man said:

 

 

 

 

Hardest thing for me is to reprogram myself to my own life.

Will you be getting number 2 Diesel Dog? 

 I gave my Mother an extra 4 years of life. Making sure she made it to dialysis for four years. 125 mile one way trip 3 times a week. (tues, thurs, Sat) I've created so many new friends and jobs down there its just sad that I close the book on many people for the time while I heal a bit. Actually I've been tending to Mom since 2004 when Dad passed away from cancer (16 years).

I've now got to reprogram myself to tend to my wonderful girl friend Eileen Nickeson and myself. I spent many years being guided or directed by the medical field on what I was going to do next. Now it our time and our choices.

I still have problems with sleeping in all those mornings of getting up at 4:30 to 5am getting Mom ready to haul south. Is all gone. I fight to sleep in but it will come in time. I will heal.

Be nice to have a normal work week where I'm here in the valley all week. These are to come soon. Always seem like the last 3 months was something dragging me side ways and heading to doctors office.

As for me soon I'm going to bolt and head south to visit Eileen Nickesons mother and her grandmother in law. This will be part of my healing process. Starting my new family. It was very awesome to here Mandi Thoreson tell me she loved me and I'm part of her family now. Thank you my dear that was super awesome.

At this time I'm just trying to get my own home in order sorting furniture, books and messes. Trying to box up Mom's stuff and move on. That is tough to be all the memories come flowing back. Mostly good ones and make me miss her once again.

Both of my parent raise a good son and I'm got a wealth of knowledge given to me by two wonderful parents which I took care of both my parents to there dying day. I've done my job the best I could for both of them its time to move on to "my life".

5 minutes ago, Mopar1973Man said:

 I gave my Mother an extra 4 years of life. Making sure she made it to dialysis for four years. 125 mile one way trip 3 times a week. (tues, thurs, Sat) I've created so many new friends and jobs down there its just sad that I close the book on many people for the time while I heal a bit. Actually I've been tending to Mom since 2004 when Dad passed away from cancer (16 years).

I've now got to reprogram myself to tend to my wonderful girl friend Eileen Nickeson and myself. I spent many years being guided or directed by the medical field on what I was going to do next. Now it our time and our choices.

I still have problems with sleeping in all those mornings of getting up at 4:30 to 5am getting Mom ready to haul south. Is all gone. I fight to sleep in but it will come in time. I will heal.

Be nice to have a normal work week where I'm here in the valley all week. These are to come soon. Always seem like the last 3 months was something dragging me side ways and heading to doctors office.

As for me soon I'm going to bolt and head south to visit Eileen Nickesons mother and her grandmother in law. This will be part of my healing process. Starting my new family. It was very awesome to here Mandi Thoreson tell me she loved me and I'm part of her family now. Thank you my dear that was super awesome.

At this time I'm just trying to get my own home in order sorting furniture, books and messes. Trying to box up Mom's stuff and move on. That is tough to be all the memories come flowing back. Mostly good ones and make me miss her once again.

Both of my parent raise a good son and I'm got a wealth of knowledge given to me by two wonderful parents which I took care of both my parents to there dying day. I've done my job the best I could for both of them its time to move on to "my life".

 

 I agree Mike, it's time to mourn, heal and then move forward. You have a new life ahead of you with Eileen and many wonderful things to come and new memories to make. You and her can now concentrate on one another and allow your relationship to grow. 

 The pain and sorrow will eventually subside and you will be able to replace it will love and happiness and have all the wonderful memories of your parents.

 I wish you well my friend, it is a process but I'm sure with your family here and your new family with Eileen you have many friends and family to count on.

3 minutes ago, Doubletrouble said:

I agree Mike, it's time to mourn, heal and then move forward. You have a new life ahead of you with Eileen and many wonderful things to come and new memories to make. You and her can now concentrate on one another and allow your relationship to grow.

 

Right now Priorities is getting some rest this weekend some how. Then heading to Lewiston, ID for shopping. I don't need to run to Ontario to get hit with all the memories. 

 

Eileen has a busy week taking care of her medical appointments. Once they are done we are free to travel south. 

 

Beyond that I want to have what most have a 9 to 5 job and a paycheck. Get a few months of normal life and then get rolling in to the fun stuff possibly. Summer is coming. I know there is 2 members talking camping trip. Gives me a goal of getting my transmission fixed and Cummins / Jayco RV ready to haul towards a camping trip.There is a few other people I want to travel and see too. 

Well if you ever head to Ohio I'll be here. Lol

 Now that I have a truck that I could trust pulling a camper up a hill or mountain I'd  like to travel further and see some things my self. The wife loves to travel to different places as well. She didn't travel much as a child so there are a lot of new things out there for here to see.

On 2/23/2020 at 6:56 AM, JAG1 said:

Will you be getting number 2 Diesel Dog? 

Yes. There will be another dog in the family. Eileen and I already talked about that. She has been looking at puppies and going nuts about wanting a furry kid. 

 

I think the biggest thing that help me heal is just "talking about things" as what is going through my mind. Like this morning my mind would not leave me alone waking up to dreams or memories of Mom. Partially remembering her in the hospital and other of hiking trips we've done in the past or camping. 

 

Eileen has a few medical appointments to take care of this week. I'm going to head in to work today and finalize a Chevy transmission that I need to finish. Then we are packing up and heading south. Being her first appointment is early on Tuesday hard make the 3 hour trek. Stay the night and do the next on on Wednesday go t the next one.

 

Like yesterday was my first trip of freedom. Instead of going to Ontario or Boise for groceries we flip and went to Lewiston, ID. Very nice to get off the beaten path and go elsewhere to shop. Funny part we we up town and friend I know he happen to hunt me down on the streets. Nice to see him and gave him a big hug knowing he just lost his father and I just lost my mother. Just in 5 to 6 years since I've been there its been changed a bunch. time to relearn another city again. 

 

I catch myself constantly through day thinking of Mom schedule and looking at my watch. Really hard to stop that. When I back up and realize I've been doing this since 2004 which is 16 year. Yeah, its tough to let go. I'm going to put a small pause on life and have a bit of fun. Sad part is I STILL need to finish my truck and get the transmission done. 

 

Already been talking about camping trips and going places. Hopefully catch up with @JAG1 and @IBMobile this summer. Even talking about hooking up with friends I have not seen in over 7 months. That would be @Taz. He's only 35 miles from me but schedules prevented me from seeing him. 

 

We are slowly rebuilding a home our way.At first we were going slow and being nice about Mom's stuff wondering if she would be coming home again. Now Mom is gone we are moving along full speed ahead.We are bag up clothes for some of Eileen family that they could use. Pull blinds down dusting walls and ceiling. Bathroom upgrades and bedroom changes. House is still trainwreck but we'll get thing sorted out. 

 

Like me I want to get on business wise now I'm not traveling 3 days a week and constantly fixing my rigs. I made the order and got a fresh batch of Timbo APPS in for the site. I've got two order to box up this morning. Take a bit of time we will build our own system of handling things business wise. 

Edited February 24, 20205 yr by Mopar1973Man

Missed this one.  Sorry for your loss, but I am happy to hear your life is getting a little more simple.   

 

She will be missed, but the joy she brought over the years far shines the sadness.  

 

 

I remember on a hot day while visiting she insisted we go get Milkshakes. That was real important to her that we go for milkshakes. Dang, she was right though.... they were really good. Dunno how moms have that intuition like that, I'll always remember that.

 

No Dripley mine wasn't chicken flavored  It was chocolate.

Edited February 27, 20205 yr by JAG1

On 2/26/2020 at 8:41 PM, JAG1 said:

No Dripley mine wasn't chicken flavored  It was chocolate

Vanilla is the best. White meat.